Thursday, 4 February 2010

How is it possible...

How is it possible...

... that my Mum is dead?
I'm sorry, that just can't be.
It just can't, it is horrible.

My Mum is a powerhouse of opinion
a pillar of directness.
But I was there, and she could not face
her own powerlessness.

My Mum is a force of nature,
a sheer clench of will.
But I watched her struggle
up the too long. Long. Winding hill.

My Mum is a whirlwind of fire,
and steel, and strong.
But I saw her gasp with pain
and rage that it was wrong.

My Mum is fierce, and big, and scary
- my under-bed monsters never dare.
But she checked herself into the hospice
where the bed-end notes give the scare.

My Mum can't give me a hug
It would give too much away.
But she held and kissed those nurses.
Right from the very first day.

My Mum hasn't held my hand
since I could cross a street on my own.
But I held hers for four days straight
because those seeds were sown.

My Mum is someone who will defend me
to her last breath.
But I saw them. Rattling, terrifying.
and she couldn't defend me from death.

My Mum is someone who dances
like nobody is watching.
But I saw her die.

My Mum is angry.
And so am I.


  1. And your Mum lives on in your heart.....
    In your precious daughter's and in every heart that she has touched x

  2. I don't know what to say, I am shedding tears for you both xxx

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum's death. I hope you're healing well. *hugs*

    Sam (Rheya and Anara)